Ugh, I have such a headache right now. Well, headache and toothache. And of course I have to hear it from Dom about how I need to get my bridge replaced. Well, I can't do that if I don't have the money or know if my fucking insurance will even cover it. They're so fucking anal, they probably don't. But fuck, something has gotta give because I'm in so much pain all the time from it. I'm gonna have to call my dentist and tell them how bad it is and that I need SOME kind of relief. Even if that happens to be 800 mg of Ibuprofen.
Damon's been encouraging me to bang on the ceiling because the fucking gorilla/elephants are always stomping and making all kinds of noise. He slept beside me a few days ago. I got woke up at like 8 the next morning because of my mom and my aunts making fucking noise while cleaning in the living room to try and get rid of the big refrigerator we have in there that we can't use. Anyway, he said that Christian was probably going to come in and be like: "why is she awake?" And sure enough, he came in a few minutes later and was like: "What is she doing awake?" Lol! Called it. Damon told him about the fucking cunt noisemakers and Christian's next thought was: "Sweetheart, why aren't you wearing your robe? It's freezing in here." Then, like a sweet, worried Daddy, he grabbed my robe and draped it over my shoulders. I can tell he was about to pull it closed and try and bundle me up but I just obliged him and slipped my arms into it, pulling it on and tying it. Aww! He's so sweet! But ever since then, he's been Mr. Worry Wart. Not just about me being on my feet after experiencing some dizziness last week but also about my heart. He gives me regular heart checks now, mainly before I go to bed every night. Sometimes when I wake up. I mean, he checks my pulse intermittently anyway but he just wants to listen to my heart with his stethoscope. After I started getting the palpitations, he decided from then on that he would have to keep an even closer eye on my heart and "make sure it's behaving itself." His words. He makes me nervous when he walks around with his stethoscope over his shoulders near bedtime or sits at the edge of my bed with his stethoscope in his hands, just waiting, waiting for me to give him the green light to go ahead and give me that heart check-up. Fuuck. He has it over his shoulders right now. My God, I was just telling my friend on Wattpad about when he and Damon walk around with their stethoscopes hanging over their shoulders. It makes me throb in my lady bits because I know the only person they're going to use it on is me. That's why I can't help but stare at their steths, knowing they're going to be on me soon. . .on my bare skin because they refuse to auscultate me any other way but under the shirt. Well, Christian's steth being on me anyway. Like I said before, he hasn't been letting Damon steth me because of how cold his is.
Christian even wants me to get a heart rate tracker/monitor to wear under my clothes now. I had one before but I lost it and now that he's been seeing these models that have continuous ECG monitoring on an app you can download onto your phone and he definitely wants me to get one so he can "monitor me." Joy. Just what I need. Him spying on me like he does in my novel. If he really wants me to be on a heart monitor, why not just hook me up to the vitals monitor in my bedroom. Course I need to buy more electrodes for it since I'm out. He's narrowing his eyes at me right now. He says its better that I have it on when I go out too so he can check on it wherever we are. I was like: "Why not just crack my chest open and look at my heart yourself?" And he was like: "That's not funny." He hates when Damon or I joke about bad things happening to my heart and says that every time we do or he'll get really seethingly angry and start pointing fingers at us being all like: "If you so much as dare. . ." Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he's made my heart paranoid at this point in time because of how much he decides to examine it. My heart is probably thinking: "Fuck, again? Can't this frickin' surgeon just leave me alone?" LMAO!
Anyway, back to the dizziness I mentioned. See, last Friday, I was supposed to/planning on going to physical therapy but besides the fact that I couldn't get hardly any sleep, I woke up feeling dizzy af. Like just laying in bed, the ceiling was spinning and I don't know why. Even getting up and moving made me feel a little dizzy but it was lying down that made it worse. The moment Christian saw my condition, he decided right there and then: "That's it. I'm keeping you home." Grrr! I mean, I did want to go so I could go to the market after and at the same time, I didn't want to go because I didn't really want to see stupid Josh. You know? The dick who rubs it in my face that he has a girlfriend and who I think doesn't even give a shit about me? But Christian was like: "No. You're not going. I don't care how much you beg me, you're not. You're staying home and you're staying in bed." He was all tucking me in and pulling the covers up to my chin. I even tried to sit up and get up but nope, the dizziness just had me falling back to the mattress. Well, that and Damon decided to shove me back down every time I even tried. Ugh! Of course Christian had to check my pulse and Damon suggested taking my blood pressure but I didn't let them do the latter. Damon said it was paroxysmal positional vertigo syndrome. Whatever that is. I have a feeling I know a little about it but not a whole lot. Christian had to agree with him. Needless to say, I canceled my ride and my appointment and just gave up and let them take care of me. Christian even put his stethoscope on and listened to my heart. Sweetie! Even though he didn't have to. Damon tried to be funny and was like: "How many fingers am I holding up?" Pfft.
So that's why Christian was so paranoid about me being out of bed and on my feet. That next morning when I got woke up early, I was feeling a little better but I did get dizzy when I got up from my bed. He rushed over, of course and his hand went right to my wrist to check my pulse. Damon asked, "how is she?" And Christian was like: "Pulse is strong." God, I love it when he does that. He's been saying: "Sweetheart, would you please stop getting up and sit down? You've been dizzy since yesterday. You need to sit down. Can you please sit down just to give me some peace of mind?" Damon is suggesting they do regular blood pressure checks with me now. Ugh! Joy. Like my spirits don't already do that. But no thank you. I'm surrounded by worrywarts, I tell you, but its sweet that they worry. You know? I don't have anyone else like that who will worry and dote on me so much and take such good care of me. And I love that they actually listen to what I have to say, unlike my mom and dad who just stay silent or choose to ignore me. I am so Allison from "The Breakfast Club," it's like not even funny.
So anyway, what else? I really think that I'm starting to spiritually awaken and may be on the verge of opening my third eye. I'm starting to feel this squeezing sensation often around my upper arm, and since my medical spirits always make their rounds every day and examine me multiple times, I know its them checking my blood pressure. It hurts a lot sometimes when it catches me out of the blue and I've heard them say "sorry" in my head but I just try and stay still and keep my arm straight out to let them do their thing. I'm just like: "Can you hurry up? Are you done yet?" And of course Christian has to be like: "Amy. . .let them examine you. You need your BP taken." Remind me of when I'm at the doctor and complain about it too. It's official though. . .my Concuans have stopped pleasuring me. God I miss it. I don't know if they finally wised up and realized how disgusting I am or what but I don't even get them pleasuring me down there anymore. I just feel dull thrusting from behind me or on top of me when I'm lying in bed, and I still feel the bed move a lot more now. I don't know if its Grant and them or them and their friends visiting or what. Like I said, I can't see them yet but the outlines and the shadows in the darkness of the room are getting a little more defined now. I even think I see apparitions with the light on sometimes, just like the outline of them, or something passes quickly out of the corner of my eye. I see some progress and at least its about time. I swear I think I even hear voices in the hall sometimes or in my room. And I definitely feel like I'm getting touched more because my clothes move more than they used to or the covers or I feel like someone is shaking or tugging at me. All this is just awesome but I want more.
I forgot to mention that when I was lying on my bed crying yesterday ( don't ask ), I asked Christian if he would lie down and hold me and he did. When I told him my heart was hurting ( emotionally not physically ), even though he didn't have to, he was kind enough to offer to take a listen to it. He was such a sweetie, just slipping his stethoscope under my top and listening. It soothed me a little, just feeling his steth on my bare chest and knowing he was listening closely as if he were actually trying to cure my broken heart. He's gonna get pissed at me now if I don't turn the computer off so I have to go. Damn it. After I finish these gifs. Shhhh! He's also been worried about---well, both Damon and him have been worried about this dry cough I've had lately so that's why Christian also decides sometimes to check not just on my heart but on my lungs too. He listens to those every now and then too, I guess if I start coughing, but he says they're clear so. . .I don't know.
Oh and one last thing, we have a new dog now. A chihuahua/pomeranian mix named Zoe. My mom brought her a couple days ago. She's been kinda pissing me off though because I feel like she prefers fucking Chris' company over mine so fuck her. Lol. I still pet her though because she's so soft and dammit, her face is too cute. She could use a trim though because her hair is so long though. I heard she was abandoned by her former family because they were moving and couldn't take her with them so, she's with us now. Okay, gotta go now. Bye.