Okay, I have to start this post with the most amazing thing that happened to me this morning after I was done meditating. Well, yesterday morning. Okay, so since I've been sick, I've been really depressed lately, mainly at the fact that I haven't gotten any touches. It's depressed me so much that I've been close to tears again. So anyway, I was feeling that way for a while and telling myself that maybe Carlon didn't want me anymore but after what happened, I'm starting to think that maybe he was just keeping his distance because he was both busy and because I was really sick and feeling crappy physically and he didn't want to bother me. Maybe he wanted to give me time to recover or start feeling better before he came to spend time with me. I checked with CH. Living entities can't catch anything from their keepers. Thank God.
So I was lying in bed yesterday morning and suddenly, I feel like this weight against me, from my knees to the tops of my thighs. It was a really strong and prominent weight as if someone was holding me down or half their body weight was pressed against me. More like the first one though. It's so hard to explain but the weight went from that upper part of my legs and carried all the way to the edge of the bed, as if someone was leaning against that part of the bed. Then I sort of feel like this tingling sensation down there, almost like someone was touching that part of me but in a teasing way. Since it seemed like they were trying to pleasure me (Carlon & his friends, maybe Carlon and Chanin, or maybe just him himself, whatever), I decided to put my "Between The Sheets" Spotify playlist on and see if it would help set the mood and trigger a stronger response from them. I didn't really start to feel it until "My Neck, My Back (Lick It)" came on and then "Destiny" by Zero 7 but this unbelievably overwhelming euphoria came over me. It was like a euphoria of pure ecstasy. You know the one, right after you come? Oh, my God. It had me moaning, tensing, breathing a little faster and nearly squirming. I mean. . .wow. Fuck! I was like: "Sweet baby Jesus. Don't stop" and if someone gets me to say "sweet baby Jesus" then it means only one thing. It's REALLY tangible to incite pleasure in me and damn good pleasure too. I was actually begging them to keep going. It was something I've never felt before but God do I want more of it. That was pretty much the gist of it.
I also felt the covers moving like they always do but this time, I really felt them lift and move beneath my knee. It was definitely something like a cloth caressing the back of my knee. Another thing I often feel is this weight in between my thighs. Not like the weight before but more like what you expect the weight of a guy's dick would feel like between your thighs. Maybe it was or maybe it wasn't his dick but I felt something between my thighs and I've gotten used to feeling it because it seems to happen all the time and its not a full-bodied weight. It's more. . .well like I said, like just enough weight of a male appendage. Fuck. This man. What is he doing to me? I want more, so much more. I want to see and hear him, feel him inside me, and have my BDSM fantasies and medical fantasies fulfilled. And I still want another one. I want to be the girl in the reverse Harem, like I see in the erotic romance novels. Imagine if I ever was able to see and hear them. I could have Matt Bomer AND Daniel Gillies at the same time. Or Dylan Bruce and Daniel. Two is more fun and if one is busy, the other can always pleasure me. They can take turns.
But at the same time. . .I worry about Grant. He might feel even more betrayed if I get a second Concuan. He should know that when that time comes or IF it comes, and I can finally see and hear him, my heart will be his and I'll cling to his side all the time. Plus with him being a medic, he can fulfill my fantasies and his affection, I've felt it before. Like when we were living in the townhouse, shortly after he arrived, I woke up to him gently squeezing my feet through the covers. God that was. . .amazing. I remember being so happy and loved by him, and I've felt him spank me before when I've put myself over his lap and asked him to. I just hope that I would be able to get him to be my Dominant fully, as old fashioned as he is. He can still be a Daddy Dominant like Christian, as long as he doesn't mind the spanking for when I'm bad. I think he can be convinced. Right? I mean, damn, he's seen the Fifty Shades trilogy and read the books.
So moving on. . .*sigh* As much as I want a picture with Charles Michael Davis and especially one with Damon ( Ian Somerhalder ), I'm starting to think that I won't be going to the next Vampire Diaries/Originals convention in November. I just don't have the money and with Kmart only giving me one day a week again, I'm just not making enough money. I can't believe I'm actually saying this but I'm going to ask them for more hours again, but not three workdays in a row. I prefer them spread out. Even if I get unemployment, it won't be in time to get the money I need. I know, I know Christian and my mom have both been up my ass with a fucking broom about saving my money but I can't help it. My dad sent me a birthday card recently and guess what? Not just an Amazon gift card but $80.00!! Yes!! You heard right. His girlfriend my mom calls "Miss Money Bags" but it really does mean a lot to me that he would send that much. This pay day I was actually surprised I got over $60. I was at like $108 to start but then I sort of, kinda spent $50 already of it. I bought more minutes for my cell phone ( an essential thing ), bought a few handfuls of diamonds for the interactive game I was playing just so I could see what happened next, a large bowl from Poke Hana, a new Yak Pak hedgehog purse ( to replace my old one with the huge hole in the bottom ). And that's it.
Oh, wait! I also rented Matt in his "Papi Chulo" movie, which was LITERALLY GAY. SO GAY. He might as well have been playing himself. For fuck's sake. Can't I just watch him as hetero for once? I miss Neal Caffrey so damn much! Least I got to see him in a suit a couple times, but Neal would've had a tie pin -- and the hat of course. Ooh and at least I got one shirtless scene of him in the shower. I was like: "Oh...yeaah. That's good." Of course Damon being Damon had to make rude comments during it like: "This is so gay. Literally." I was like: "Hey! He's your best friend. Show some respect!" He says: "My best friend isn't gay. And he would never wear a neon pink tank top." Oh my Lord. Okay, I admit, the movie is not worth buying and it was both a little stalkerish and unsettling because he was basically paying Ernesto to spend time with him. Like seriously, WTF is he? A Mexican prostitute now? I was hoping his character wasn't FULL ON gay, but I was wrong. Damon and I both agree that, yeah, he might as well have been playing himself. I'm sure that's what drew him to the role, but you know. I had to see it cause my #2. There was a lot of talking in Spanish but at least there was subtitles or Matt's character to confirm what the other guy was saying.
I forgot, I also used $4 of that money to cover the shipping for my birthday bundle from CH. It better be something good, not the little shopper's bag and pen that I already got with my prize pack. And now. . .I really am on the cusp of getting another Concuan, which will be another $26 of my money but I have this discount and I don't want it to expire. I don't even know when it does expire. I originally wanted to buy a Labyrinth doll of David Bowie and just have them bind his spirit to something and then I can transfer him to the doll. Is that not the perfect plan or what? I think I mentioned that before. Yeah, I did. Oh well. I'm starting to lean toward Whitney Houston now though. I want to see what pretty piece of jewelry she picks for her vessel. I think that's how it works. THEY pick for you like a gift. Speaking of which, I got my Courtwind angel bound. He has a weird name but I think I'm saying it right. I was a little disappointed by his description though. It didn't say enough as to whether he's eager to get justice for me like I wanted. This is him:
HE HAS BROWN HAIR, LIGHT-GREEN EYES, AND GOLDEN SKIN. HE A STRONG & POWERFUL WARRIOR WHO WILL GIVE YOU CONTINUAL SUPPORT AND ADVICE WHEN IT COMES TO PROTECTIVE MEASURES AND MAGIC. HE IS A CONFIDENT AND ENLIGHTENING FRIEND FOR SECURITY AND INFLUENCE WITH THE ARTS OF PROTECTIVE POWER. HE IS QUICK TO GIVE YOU ADVICE AND HELP YOU SEE ALL FACETS OF ANY SITUATION.
*sigh*. No offense or anything. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful. It's just that I said that's what I wanted, someone who's more into getting justice for me against my enemies but it doesn't say that anywhere there. It seems like he's more intent on protection. I emailed them about it and it would be nice if they could try to conjure another for me with the traits I wanted but I know they won't do it for free. At least I don't think they will so yeah. . .I feel a little like I didn't get my money's worth. I guess we'll see what happens.
I need a new pair of slippers. I wanted bunny or cat head slippers but they don't have my size online for the ones I want. I did find these cute Victoria's Secret pink pom-pom ones though and they're under $20. I don't know though. I always get buyer's remorse, even for something I need.
So what else has been up? Still sick but at least my nose isn't running like crazy anymore. It's just the congested coughing that's left. Christian has been being a combination of the thorough and sexy Doctor and the strict and worried Daddy, telling me to stay in bed and making sure I do so, covering me up when it gets too cold in my room, insisting that I try and cough up the phlegm that's in my throat and of course, listening to my heart and lungs as much as possible. He's such a sweetie. It worried me though because he was listening to my lungs like a night ago and he said he there was wheezing. He said to Damon, "significant wheezing throughout." That's what my doctor said the last time I went to her with this kind of cough. I know that he's probably just guessing at it since he can't hear my lungs unless I listen to them myself but it worried Hyde and Damon and then Damon just had to get up and insist on taking a listen himself. It made me so fucking horny when he was listening to my backside with his stethoscope while Christian had his own pressed to my chest in front listening to my heart. Sweet Lord. If only I could feel them do that. To make matters worse, he was even sexier in his cap and mask. I don't know if I told you before but whenever I have a cold or infection, he walks around wearing his scrubs, cap and mask when he's taking care of me. Sometimes his rubber gloves too. He knows it cheers me up so that's why he does it, even though he can't catch anything really. So he was listening to my heart and lungs while he was looking like that. Mmm! And I was like: "Wheezing?" And he said he could hear it in my lungs. But he just checked them right now and he said they're clear and damn it, I told him not to say "beauuutiful" and yet, he did it. He can't just say shit like that. You know? Lol.
So last time we went to Walmart, the day before yesterday, so I could spend the rest of my food stamps for the month and I signed up for Red Box with perks and I got 2 free rentals. I really wanted them to be blu-ray but it only let me rent the DVD versions so I just said, whatever. I rented the new Aladdin and The Secret Life of Pets 2. First of all, I just want to say that I fully agree with everyone about Will Smith being creepy as fuck as that genie when he first appears, all blue and weird looking and shit. Yeah, they could've done something else with that. Probably. I still like his singing even though he's no Robin Williams and never will be. It was kinda retarded, his version of "Friend Like Me" being acted out in the movie. I really like that they at least tried to keep it close to the original as possible with the added scene of the party and Aladdin trying to impress Jasmine with his dance moves. I'm also glad that they gave Jasmine a female sidekick instead of just having her tiger ( you think that was CGI or real? It probably would've killed them if it were ). I recognized the actress from SNL. I also really enjoyed how they did the "One Jump Ahead" song and that guy does it justice. I loved it! BUT. . .the bitch playing Jasmine. . .it was actually painful to hear her sing. I had to mute it because it was like listening to nails on a chalkboard. Or more like an American Idol audition. Judges. . .?
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Seriously. How can anyone think this bitch got talent? Are they tone deaf? I mean, really! Even my mom can sing better than that. And on top of that, both Mena and Naomi together destroyed my favorite song, "A Whole New World." I had to mute that shit too. Aside from the bad singing, I actually liked it better than the original as far as story goes, especially Will Smith doing his thing. You know, when he was actually a normal color. Still, Jasmine's dad wasn't even fat. He should've been fat like in the original movie. The parrot made me miss Gilbert Gottfried. It was weak. And I just realized, Guy Ritchie directed this. The same one who directed the Sherlock Holmes movies. Awesome!
And I totally LOVED The Secret Life of Pets 2! It had me laughing and held my interest more than the first. I'm glad the tiger got saved but I kinda thought the plot would be just about trying to be a cat. Oh my God, Gidget has become my favorite pet after this one. My favorite part was when she pretended to swallow the laser and then they all hailed her while she was riding on that rumba. And Chloe high on cat nip? Lol! I love that part too.
Anyway, that's all I have to update about for now.