So how's it going with Eddie and everybody? Well, other than the fact that I'm still waiting for a digital letter
from someone else off Etsy, my Eddie is still making me blush as usual. I had a nightmare (sort of) this morning (by the way, Dom was sleeping in my bed because he won the wheel spin last night) about being in a fire, which always seems to take place at my grandparents' old house where I grew up, and in the dream, I sort of inhaled some smoke and this female paramedic came into the house with an oxygen bag and tank and gave me an oxygen mask so I took it and breathed in the oxygen and my mom was in the dream too and I think the fire started because of something with the dog's shit or some power outlet (from what I saw). Weird. But anyway, I woke up and I felt really short of breath. Dom noticed and he told me to take some deep breaths and suggested I use my inhaler. I didn't grab my inhaler but I did call on Eddie. He came in and I told him briefly about my dream and like Dom, he told me to take some deep breaths, took out his stethoscope, and put it on my back to listen to my breathing. Sweet Lord! And he also insisted on checking my oxygen level. He knew it was just a dream but he still insisted on checking me out, even when I told him I was fine, which he's learned is how I convey something is really wrong with me. I guess he can tell when I overexaggerate something being wrong with me when there isn't. See, last night, in the wonderland, I sort of faked being sick to get him to examine and fuss over me and he got upset with me about it. He told me that he doesn't "play games like that" and he would appreciate it if I didn't do it or lie to him about it because if I were to cry wolf again, he wouldn't know whether I was faking or not and it could cost me in the long run. He's never gotten upset with me like that before and it kind of surprised me, but I hear what he's saying. He doesn't want me to pretend I'm sick when I'm not. Probably because he takes his job far more seriously than Damien. He said if I wanted him to just examine me that I could've asked, that I didn't need to fake it. Well I feel embarrassed asking him, which is why I don't. I don't know, maybe I should've thought about it a little more before I decided to fake it. Then when I went up to Dom's office, I got into the elevator and I screamed in anger, both at myself and at Eddie. When I got off the elevator, Eddie was right there beneath the stairs looking up at me all shocked like: "What's wrong? I heard you screaming." I told him it was a stressed scream. I was just letting off some steam.
Outside of the wonderland, Eddie is really turning into another Christian. I feel like there's fucking two of them now. Like they both hate, hate, HATE when I start joking about my death or suicide or something physically bad happening to me. Neither one of them find it funny and it warmed my heart and just about made me blush when Eddie said that he really cares about me. It's sweet. I mean, he definitely does show how much he cares in how quickly he comes to my aid all the time. So I guess his worrying is just something I'm going to have to get used to, even if he and Christian are driving me up the fucking wall with their worrying. I guess it would be worse if they didn't worry. After all, how many people actually worry about me anyway? Like none. Except for my Tulpas, of course. And of course, Eddie is still playing "PA (physician's assistant)" to Christian, putting his fingers on my pulse and monitoring it until I actually take my meds. And I know I'm going to sound like a bitch just saying this but the two of them are driving me up the fucking wall! They got all pissed off at me because I told them that I was going to talk shit about them in my blog, and they insist that they're only trying to take care of me and that there's no reason for me to be talking offensively about them. Well, Christian said that. Eddie's offended that I would even do something like that when I know, he's just trying to be nice and care about me and take care of me. I just get so frustrated sometimes and I can't help it. I really think that "King of Anything" song by Sara Bareilles fits the both of them, not just Christian. Eddie had never heard it before and then when he did, he did admit that it was "a little harsh."
I appreciate them comforting me though now that it's raining really hard and there's thunder every now and then. Eddie leaned over and put his arm around me, hugging me and telling me "it's okay. We won't let anything happen to you." So sweet! And Christian doing his little "shh, shh, shh, it's okay sweetheart." But Damon being Damon has to tease me about being scared over it. He's like: "Oh come on, it's just a little thunder." Just a little thunder? Ass! He should know by now that it scares me. Least Christian and Eddie care. And now Christian wants me to go to bed because it's almost 4 am and I'm tired. I wasted the day making gifs and not writing like I should've been. I hate me. :( Night night!
P.S. It's Eddie's turn to sleep next to me again tonight. Sweet Jesus! The wheel keeps landing on his name more than everyone else and it should be random. Is that a coincidence? Or does he have something to do with it?
Damn him!!! Well, at least I'll have a paramedic by my side if the thunder starts up again or if I have another nightmare where I wake up gasping for breath.