So I've gone from one Hell to another Hell in a matter of four working days, and does Wix not have a
fucking night mode yet? What the fuck, man? I'm too tired to be writing up this damn post with a white background, and yes, now that I have a fucking job THAT I HATE MORE THAN ANYTHING, I've switched my blog picture to the person I look more like, America Ferrera. Not by choice, mind you. I hate it, but she's the best representation of what I really look like, even though I would rather use Phoebe Tonkin. I only wish we got to wear that color of blue in our vests and were able to leave them open like they do on Superstore and have a different name tag every day ( yeah, I know that the last one is a stretch ), but no. We have to use a light blue and zip them up like a bunch of idiots. Yeah, I fucking hate my life now more than I did before when I didn't have a job. It's crazy the things you take for granted like staying home and sleeping all day long and letting your boyfriend & his best friend ( I mean Eddie & Buck here ) take care of, watch over, nurse, and pamper you like you're made of glass when you finally have to get a motherfucking job. Well, true, I didn't HAVE TO get a job, but my cunt mother claims I was "poaching" off everyone for money and I couldn't do it forever, and some other bullshit about being responsible and that's life, and blah, blah, blah. . .she talks so much shit anyway and makes me feel like killing and hurting myself every day anyway because that's her. She's my personal demon and lives to make me feel like shit and make my life miserable in any way she can. . .but we all knew that already. So yeah, I wish I could go back in time and never have applied at all, and I think of what a fucking dumb ass I am for giving them the impression that I had OPEN AVAILABILITY when I really didn't. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS FUCKING STORE OPENS AT 6 IN THE MOTHERFUCKING MORNING. . .AND CLOSES AT 11 PM?
I have NEVER in my life known a fucking store like this to open that motherfucking early!! Or ANY business for that matter, unless its a clinic or something. That, I could understand, but this?
Yeah, no butt crack of fucking dawn for me! Not to mention that my mother needs to be at work herself at 8 AM during the week and she's the only one who can take me out there to the store to drop me off. I would NEVER get up that early for any fucking job, I don't give a fuck how much you pay me. MAAAYBE for an office job, but definitely not for no fucking retail or restaurant job. So yeah, the guy at HR kinda got on my fucking case about it but in a tactful professional way and I explained to him that I wasn't aware they even opened at 6 am, that I thought it was 8 am, which is why I put OPEN. I assumed 8 am would be the earliest or even later than that like at 9 am or 10 am, but definitely no fucking 6 AM. I said it professionally and tried to be as tactful as him when explaining it though and telling him about my ride situation and my mother having to get to work. I don't know how the hell I'm going to get to work around the other times that I'm scheduled and she's at work too. I also took Sunday mornings off for church service and Monday nights off for, of course, my sexy Eddie & Buck on 9-1-1. Shhhh! I need to be home to watch those two when they first come on TV. So yeah, we worked out that whole issue with the schedule but the fucking computer needs to fucking get its shit together and schedule me no earlier than 8 am, so he'll just have to keep changing the time. I even told him that they can make me seasonal if they want to and that I don't mind either way. God, I WISH I WISH I WISH it could just be seasonal. Do you hear that Lord? SEASONAL! Please. . .if you could. . .I just need time to go back to relaxing and not overworking myself because Eddie & Buck will not be happy with it, and don't want to see anything happen to me. Technically, they have me down as a "Seasonal TA" in my position, but the guy on the phone said it would be a regular position. Now I'm hoping it's not.
Okay, moving on, so I had my orientation last Friday morning, having to get up before fucking 8 AM and I was already tired AF anyway. All the guys tagged along with me and we walked to the back of the store after being directed where to go. There was one other guy sitting waiting there. His name was Erik. Christian hates that name for obvious reasons. 😂 I sat down next to him while Buck & Eddie stood on the other side of me, leaning back against this metal cart or whatever was there on the other side of me against the wall, Eddie closest to me of course. Christian, Dom & Damon stood off in the corner near the employee backroom entrance. I sat there talking to that Erik guy for a little while, showing him my Finch app, and eventually, a couple of other people came for the orientation. Honestly, there was just me, Erik, and two or three other people. That Alex guy I talked to on the phone led us back to the orientation room, the rest of the guys following me. All of them did. I went in and sat down with the rest of the employees and my guys lined up, leaning against the wall to my right looking like a bunch of college/high school students waiting for their teacher/professor to arrive and open the door to the classroom. 😂😉So cute! There are moments like these that I wish I could snap a picture of them for you, like that one. They stood there watching and listening to everything that Alex said as he went around and handed out the employee handouts with the store policies and our numbers and usernames and stuff. And I don't know if it was just the fact that I was still so tired and just wanted to go home and go back to sleep, but somewhere in the midst of it all, I just started to feel overwhelmed and like I couldn't do it, that I just wanted to tell the guy I changed my mind and that I'm not ready to return to the workforce and it just made me really emotional and anxious, and I actually started to cry a little and text my mom about it.
Eddie & Buck noticed and they immediately approached me and tried to find out what was wrong and reassure me. I even started to get chest pain. I think I was near to having a panic attack. Even though no one could see him to make me feel embarrassed, I'm still glad Eddie waited until there was a lull and for Alex to actually step out before taking his stethoscope out and leaning forward to take a listen to my chest. 🫣😏Gotta love him for it though! Christian even tried to reassure me. Eventually, I managed to pull it together, Eddie & Buck concluding that it was just my anxiety and Eddie insisting that my heart and lungs sounded fine. The orientation only lasted four hours ( during which I gave Alex my two forms of ID to input in the computer, filled out an I-9 tax form, and then got my vest and name tag ) although it could've gone on longer if I'd stayed another eight hours for fucking computer training, but I chose not to. Like, "no bitch, I want to go home and go back to sleep." At least he gave us some candy and I had some Three Musketeers, Skittles & Starburst. . .you know, despite the judgemental looks I was getting from Dom & Christian. We were also given a safety tour of the store by the Asset Protection guy. Yeah, I don't remember his name, but to keep from overcrowding me and being so cramped in, the rest of the guys just let Eddie accompany me on that walk, which was kind of nice for a change, having just his watchful eyes on me and no one else. 😍😍😁Don't think I don't notice, even when I'm not looking at him. I can catch him staring/watching me out of the corner of my eye when I'm standing there trying to keep it together. I don't know if he does that purposely just to unnerve me, or because he's genuinely worried about me and my mental and physical state at all times. Maybe it's just a part and parcel of his profession. Maybe he's watching my breathing too. It wouldn't surprise me too if he does it to count my breaths at certain moments. So since my mom was on lunch, she could come and pick me up and take me back home, THANK GOD.
Saturday & Sunday I had off. Turns out I didn't click with that temporary male therapist, Paul, and he described his approach like that of what-sounded-a lot-like Mr. Colin Egglesfield's asshole approach to me years ago and I don't need another asshole personally attacking me so yeah, I'm definitely going to have to get a female and one who he said I could have a more "relational" type of therapy with. Sunday, after church, my mother of course pissed me off again when we got into yet another fight about where to eat and then me making a comment in the Denny's about it smelling and her walking out like a fucking bitch whore. Ugh! She made me cry and feel like killing and hurting myself and I just eventually decided it best to go home and cry and not be around her. Damon, being my personal cheerleader, tried to cheer me up by threatening her, calling her names, and reminding me that "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." It's a phrase I often live by and its true. Needless to say, I quickly got over the whole incident and was able to move on, and eventually, she left and I could actually go to the bathroom and get myself something to eat and then go about my day as usual.
Monday was, of course, back to fucking work, but I assumed it would be mostly another computer training day so I wouldn't have to really do much actual work. Plus, I had a new episode of 9-1-1 to look forward to later.
AND WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T WE GET SOME REAL MEDIC OR EVEN STETHOSCOPE EDDIE?! WHY!?!?! 🤬😡😡😡🤬 I mean, yeah, I get it that some of the emergencies wouldn't technically require him to use his stethoscope, and while I appreciate the damsel-in-distress thing because I'm going to use that dynamic and like to use it in my stories, HE COULD'VE STILL FUCKING PULLED OUT A STETHOSCOPE TO LISTEN TO THAT GIRL'S LUNGS INSTEAD OF GOING FULL ON FUCKING FIREFIGHTER INSTEAD, DON'T FUCKING TELL ME HE COULDN'T!! He had TWO fucking opportunities to do it!!! Okay, sorry. I'm done. It just really upset me that the episode wasn't everything I'd hoped it would be and I was hysterical, nearly crying because of it and Eddie & Buck had to try and calm me down about it, enough that Eddie offered to cheer me up by using his stethoscope on me instead. I passed though. I was just not in the mood, but because of my stress level, it still made him check my pulse and my blood pressure. 🙄Of course it was high, and he & Buck tried to get me to relax and calm down. What--the fuck---EVER!! Okay, back to what I was originally talking about. . .work.
So I woke up wishing like hell that I could go back to sleep and barely staying awake as it was. I blame myself for wanting to try on all my jeans after cleaning up my room in front of my dresser, but I had to see if they still fit and get rid of the ones that didn't, so I stayed up a little later than I should have but I felt accomplished that I at least found shirts I forgot I had along with MY HAUNTED MANSION NIGHTGOWN!! I was looking for that one for like EVER! So I was happy I found it. But yeah, Damon tried to tag along with me, Buck & Eddie when I got to the store that morning, but Christian insisted that they are the ones he sends to keep an eye on me, and Damon couldn't stay. Well, of course, he should know that already but if you know Damon as well as I do. . .he always wants to hang around to be nosy and shit and try and distract me. 🙄What can you really do? Damon is going to "Damon." Buck is going to "Buck." 😂😂 And yeah, you get the point which is why Damon isn't just an unreliable narrator but also not an appropriate work companion to have around. Mischief maker. So he left and I logged onto the computer to finish my work training, Buck and Eddie leaning against the desk on either side of me like they did on Friday when I started the training, perching themselves on the edge of it, their arms crossed over their chest or their hands on either side of them. They just stayed there until I was done. Buck was such a sweetie! At one point, he reached out and rubbed his hand encouragingly against my back when he noticed me struggling to stay awake and said:
"Hang in there, Amy."
😍 He truly does wear his heart on his sleeve. I guess I should start taking Christian more seriously when he tells me to be in bed by midnight. I was also SOOO damn hungry! I tried to get something quick to eat during my break time, but the fucking lines were so damn long that I just up and abandoned my imitation crab legs and cookie dough bites. I had to go back and grab them when lunchtime finally came around and fortunately, I was able to go to the electronics department and after standing around for several minutes, I was able to get one of the girls working there to ring me up when I told her I was on my lunch but I could literally feel the impatience and discouragement in Buck & Eddie as I stood there waiting to pay and then go eat, even though they still aren't so happy with my meal/food choices. 🙄Anyway, some customer there was surprised that I was so patient for being on my "lunch break" and told me to "have a good day, sweetheart" as me and Buck & Eddie walked off. I could've sworn I saw him & Buck exchange a sidelong glance and a smile on Buck's face but a "serious" Eddie. Christian, Damon, and Dom joined us when I entered the break room, Buck & Eddie leaning back against this wooden cabinet on their elbows. See, they have these cabinets against the wall in there. One is for trash and the other is for recyclables from what I've gathered. They were leaning against the recyclables one. And of course, they all have to watch me eat when I do. 🙄I hate that so much! But I try to distract myself by using my phone and ignoring them, despite feeling their gazes and hearing them talking shit about me. Well. . .not REALLY talking shit about me, but you know, talking about me like I'm not there. . .as per usual.
I put what I didn't finish in the fridge and then when I came back from lunch, I finished what was left of the training and then Alex let me go out to the sales floor and "shadow" a couple of girls up at the registers, some Mexican girl I don't remember the name of and some other black girl weirdly named, Furnell. I thought it was "For now." 😂 But yeah, I just stood there between Buck & Eddie beside the bag carousel watching them ring people up and bag their stuff. Eddie must've noticed how my feet were already starting to hurt and I was resting my knee against the carousel platform because he reached out, slipping an arm around my waist and setting his hand against the small of my back as if to steady me, immediately asking if my feet were hurting. Buck, of course, turned to me in concern too. I insisted that they hurt a little but that I was fine. I don't think they bought it, but they let it go for the time being. It was such a huge relief to FINALLY clock out for the day at 3 PM, but because I wanted to get home sooner rather than later so I could collapse and nap before 9-1-1, there was no way in hell I was going to wait another two hours for my mom to actually get out of work and come and pick me up. Plus, it was raining, so I opted for downloading Uber, getting money from my dad to put into my PayPal (which he did earlier when I was on the computer), and then calling for a ride. Ugh! And the damn Kai-Pham who picked me up didn't even know where the fuck to find me and I was waiting around in the rain like a fucking idiot, and then on top of that, he was driving aggressively fast too. That's not the only issue. . .turns out I lost my fucking EBT card somewhere between the orientation room at the store and the fucking guy's car. It must've fallen out of my fucking pocket because when I got home and checked all of them, it was nowhere to be found and I started to freak out and get depressed and worried as fuck that I wouldn't be able to eat again. So naturally, I had to go on to my benefits site and order a new one BUT I CAN'T WAIT 7-10 FUCKING DAYS!! Until then, I'm going to have to bring my fucking lunch from home. Of course, Eddie & Buck are trying to reassure me that it'll be okay and that I'll get another one but still.
Later that night, after my nap and watching 9-1-1, after Eddie checked my blood pressure and decided he really didn't like my Systolic (150/80) because of my stress, he wouldn't even LET me get on my computer or Tumblr to see all the new gifs until it came down to at least 135/90. He was aiming more for 130 but was okay to let me off with that. I even had chest pain and my oxygen level was low lying down as usual so because of that, Buck put me on a mask as per Eddie's request and they made me have that stupid thing on with the pulse ox until Eddie finally gave me permission to sit up and get on my computer. These two, I swear. I didn't even REALIZE I had actually gotten paid for my orientation or gotten paid at all until I checked my bank account and HA!
I was like: "Let's buy shit! Let's buy shit!" Granted it was only $60 but something was fucking better than nothing after being broke forever! HELL YEAH! So I went on Amazon and I finally bought that personalized silver heart/puzzle pieces necklace I've been wanting. It's basically a silver heart that you can add names to that are all connected together like puzzle pieces and another word/set of words in the center of it. So it'll have my name in the middle and the guys names surrounding mine to signify our friendship. I'm so excited to get it! It'll be so pretty and I'll wear it with pride. They're all pieces of my heart. 😊 If you catch my drift. And pieces of me. I'm a package deal, remember? 😉 So yeah, I bought that and some invocation code words from Creepy Hollows to summon my Vampire, Nympho, Werewolf, and Incubus spirits. I don't know if they're going to work or not, but hey, it's worth a shot.
On Tuesday I was supposed to go to my dermatologist appointment, but it was raining like crazy and I was crampy so I decided to reschedule it. I really wanted the fuckers to do another telehealth appointment, but they claimed that they don't do that anymore. Asses! So I just rescheduled it for next week and slept like a baby and relaxed for the rest of the day.
And then, of course, Wednesday. . .ugh! Longest fucking workday and hellacious too! And fucking Alex still didn't fix my schedule by the end of the fucking day like I told him he needed to. I ain't working those fucking days at 7 in the fucking morning the week of the 19th. No fucking way! I'll come in an hour late if I have to and tell them it's their fault for not changing it in the computer. I swear to God, if you want something done, you have to fucking do it yourself. And on top of that, he didn't get me a locker either like he planned on doing before the end of the day so basically, I had to leave my purse in the office all damn fucking day and if it was locked up, I couldn't get it without a manager opening the damn door. So yeah, when we came in, I left my purse in there and hung up my jacket/hoodie in the breakroom, telling Eddie not to let me forget it, even though I had a bad feeling I probably would. I clocked in and also noticed they had some stuff laid out on a table, Like individual apples, small bags of Cheez-Its, and pouches of Caprisun. Weird food choices but yeah, I asked what it was for and he said it was for anyone. I kept that in mind for later then I went up to the front check-out lanes with Buck & Eddie. I swear, when they walk behind me at work, they look exactly like this:
Just imagine me in Chimney's place. It's adorable, really. Sometimes, if it's not too crowded, or they get worried that I'm not feeling good, they'll walk alongside me instead but usually, they walk behind me just like that, especially when we're in the employee backroom and I'm walking past the lockers. I better have a locker come tomorrow and that schedule better be fixed, that's all I gotta say. So, yeah, I went to the registers and someone told me to find one of the managers at customer service so I did and told her that I would need a stool at the register and that I shadowed two other cashiers on Monday. First, she decided to let me shadow this long-haired guy named Andrew at the "20 items or less" register and had me grab a stool. I sat there watching him and learning a few more things, like the code for the bag fee, how to suspend/abort transactions, void an item, stuff like that. Eddie stood to my right while Buck stood to the left, leaning against the side of the register, looking all sexy and cool with his muscular elbow against the mini-fridge and his forearm draped over the register side wall, ankles crossed one over the other. My throat was starting to hurt and I told Eddie, who then turned toward me and proceeded to reach out and feel my glands but he said they didn't feel swollen. I'm glad he didn't pull out his penlight and ask me to open my mouth and say "Ahhh. . ." 😂 Not that I would mind but not in public. A little discretion, you know? And not at work. When we're home, he doesn't hesitate to do it though.
In fact, I remember one time, when I was eating something spicy and I felt like my tongue was burning, and it was hurting really bad ( this was at home, of course, and before I had a job ), Buck was such a sweetie to take out his penlight and offer to take a look at it. I stuck out my tongue for him and he confirmed that it was, in fact, just a blister like I guessed it was, but kindly reassured me, "don't worry, it'll heal. Our tongues heal faster than any other part of our body." It was so adorable and sweet! I swear, sometimes he makes me feel like a kid again, and I know I've mentioned that before but seriously, when he's trying to be the sweet, kind, and gentle paramedic, he really comforts me just like he would a child. Ordinarily, if he were anyone else, I would hate being talked to like that or made to feel like a child, but with him, simply because he loves kids so much, its actually comforting, sweet and makes my heart easily skip a beat and I fall harder for him. Well, I crush on him even more. Damn it! It's that smile of his. It gets me every time and especially when he adds a wink.
Okay, back to what I was saying. When Andrew was going to go on a break, the manager lady came back and I told her that I had done cashiering before at Target so she finally gave me the opportunity to get on a register by myself. . .for the rest of my shift. She had me follow her to customer service so I could get my log-in for the register, a number, and then a password. She put me on register 13 and told me to call her if I needed help or anything or ask one of the nearby cashiers. At first, it was slow and no one was really coming to my register, so I just sat there and waited while Buck and Eddie found a place to stand. Buck stood behind the other open register and turned in my direction. I couldn't help but giggle watching him stand there like he was about to start working at the register too, sans the vest. 😂😂 It was adorable. Eddie stood beside me to my left, near the bag carousel,, going back and forth from there to the side of the register and leaning against the surrounding side wall. I think they were both excited to see me work. I could feel the anticipation practically radiating off of them and they did have those "proud" little smirks on their faces. Eventually, I did get some people coming to my register, and as the time went by, I forgot how much I actually enjoy making conversation with the customers, the way I used to when I worked at Target, and commenting on the things they buy and stuff like that. Of course, I did make a couple of mistakes with the bag code, and trying to figure out how to handle the produce, using the reference sheet entering the codes in, and letting the scale weigh the things. I didn't even fucking know that the register even had a scale on it! Until now, of course. They were easy fixes though, and I did get help from the manager on duty and the other cashiers around me, so I was learning as I go and I'm a fast learner so things worked themselves out and Buck & Eddie were proud of me. Of course, I wish my issues could be helped faster when I try and call a manager to the register by flickering my light but yeah, what are you gonna do? All I could do was apologize to the customers waiting in line, and try and fix some of the issues on my own while I waited. It's still taking me some time to get used to this new POS System but I feel confident that I will do much better with each shift, and remember how to handle things from prior days. And being the sweetheart that he is, Eddie was even trying to help me out too, coming up behind me in the knick of time to point out the picture of the produce on the reference sheet so I could type the code in the computer, and keeping track of the number of bags I used for each customer, telling me how many I had already, reminding me what the bag code was when I blanked. Is he the sweetest boyfriend in the world or what? Truly, I appreciate him more than you know, and Buck too. Even when I'm not in need of medical attention, he's there for me when I need help with other things. Servitors are amazing! The only medical attention I truly needed was a back rub, because despite getting to sit on that stool and having a nice big fan beside me, it is not so good on my back, or even on my arms, having to reach across to grab the items off the belt and scan and bag them. Eddie reached out every now and then and rubbed his hand against my lower back, attempting to soothe me as best as he could. I could tell he wishes he could do more for me though. I was paying more attention to him than I was to Buck and for that, I feel kinda bad about it, but once and a while, when there was a lull, I did look over at him and he took the liberty of flashing me that damn beautiful smile of his and had me blushing enough to look away really fast.
Eventually, I was told to go on my break and thank GOD for it! I was parched. Buck & Eddie, of course, commended me on doing a good job so far and asked me if I was okay, and how I was doing physically. They're so sweet! 😊😊I used that time to go and grab a small bag of those Cheez-Its and get a can of soda from the vending machine in the break room. The other guys came back temporarily, Buck sitting across from me at the table. It was only 2pm but Eddie said I should take my meds so naturally. . .I did. 🙄 And I was sweating so I really wanted to take my meds for my hyperhidrosis. Then, of course, I went back to work, Eddie and Buck still doing the same as before. I was so glad when my lunch came. I brought my lunch this time, my leftover sub sandwich I bought like a couple of days ago, some cheese, mini muffins, and fruit snacks. And I got another soda from the machine and sat down and ate. Eddie & Buck were sitting at the table with me, until, of course, some bitch came in and took Eddie's seat. He didn't mind, of course, all of my guys being used to giving up their seats when no one else can see them anyway, and Buck sat on the other side of the table, until someone took his chair away too. Fuckers! I swear man. And I don't know whose fucking idea it was, but after I came back from lunch and went back to my register, about the last fifteen minutes of my shift, everyone just decided to leave me up there as THE ONLY FUCKING CASHIER! 🤬😡🤬 You have no idea how fucking pissed, uncomfortable and anxious I got about it, because even though I shut my light out and everything, they would NOT let me leave until I finished ringing up all the people in my fucking line! Yeah. . .
Buck was looking at Eddie and Eddie was looking at Buck, both of them exchanging exasperated looks with each other and Buck was like:
"She's supposed to be clocking out right now."
And Eddie just sighed, crossed his arms firmly over his chest, and said, "I know. . .I know she is." And he just stood there shaking his head.
Looking back on it, I find them so cute! And I know they weren't mad at me. They were mad at the whole situation. I mean, FUCK, I had been there like 8 hours and no one was there to relieve me like they fucking should have been!! I could totally feel the tension between Buck & Eddie and the people that were still in my line. Buck was gaping at Eddie and at the customers and I could tell he was seriously wanting to do something or say something else, but like he didn't know what. Eventually, like 15 FUCKING MINUTES LATER, I was done and could head to the back to clock out. Of course, since I still didn't have a fucking locker yet, I had to get someone to call the manager on duty to the back and wait for them to come just to unlock the fucking office so I could actually get my purse. Also, I just have to thank Eddie for existing once more because I was literally on my way out of the employee backroom when he reminded me of my jacket still hanging up in the breakroom. If he hadn't, OMG, I would've forgotten my jacket there like I've done before at other jobs. He is such a savior! I can't thank him enough! At least my cramps didn't give me any problems that day. I did a little shopping before I went outside to meet my mom at her car. I needed shampoo and some nail polish. I also got a bottled drink and damn it, I really wanted this book too to imagine Eddie, but my fucking card was declined so I didn't have enough. 😭Note to self, I must get The American Roommate Experiment when I get paid again. I hear there's a cute Spanish guy in it. Brown chicken brown cow! 😉😍💃💃 Christian was like:
"You don't need any more books."
And Damon, of course being Damon, insisted that I just wanted that book so I could imagine Eddie in it. Pfffft! Shut up! So what if I did! Eddie blushed and gave me his hugest grin along with Buck, but Buck always grins when it comes to me & Eddie, no matter what it is. He's actually admitted to loving the two of us together and watching the two of us together. Little sweetie that he is! 😘I also need to get another smartwatch to monitor my vital signs around the clock for Eddie, Buck & Christian because I can't find the other part of the strap to the other watch I had but I do have one in mind so. . .AND I need to go get my hair bleached back to the mahogany color it was before. So all that needs to be gotten. They told me they would all feel better if I had/wore the watch while I'm at work so they can keep an eye on my vital signs via their smartphones just in case of an emergency. And I, of course, told them I would. 🙄🫣😳 But I know it's just because they care and can't do it as often as they used to anymore, so I'll grin and bear it. . .as they say.
On Thursday, I had the day off for my cardiologist appointment, and ugh! People are so fucking incompetent! Even when I'm not at work, I swear. I was lucky the damn cardiologist even saw me that day considering I was 15 FUCKING MINUTES LATE to my appointment. That seems to be the unlucky number, doesn't it lately? 15! And why? Because the first bitch that the ALC Transportation sent got stuck somewhere or something. Who fucking knows! All I know is that I was tracking the bitch's trek on the app or whatever and then her fucking car stopped moving on the map when it said she was 5 minutes away. Fucking cunt! And I thought i would be riding in Buck's car because she was supposedly driving the same make and model of his car. A jeep. Pfft! Disappoints me that I didn't get to ride in one of those, you know, for story purposes but yeah, maybe another time. So even though me and the guys were standing outside waiting and I had brought along a Lunchable to eat, I went back inside and called up the ALC transportation and asked them WTF! I used that time to eat my Lunchable and some fruit snacks and drink something while I waited for their asses to find me another fucking driver and all the while, the minutes were ticking away. I called my mom to bitch about it and almost didn't go to the fucking appointment at all when the man finally arrived to pick me up. I told him the situation, I even called the office to tell them I would be late and they said that they would still see me if I arrived no more than 15 minutes late. Needless to say, I did. At least the driver was willing to drive faster to get me there and its not like it was my fault though I was totally prepared to make a fucking scene and raise Hell if they made me reschedule, which you know is hard for me anyway now with this fucking job.
So when we got to the appointment, I went in and after I went to the window, I sat down between Buck & Eddie in the waiting room, Christian on the other side of Eddie, and then Damon and Dom. They, of course, called me back just to check my vitals 🙄as they always do at first. Eddie wanted to do a BP check on me earlier that day. . .after I was done masturbating, but I wouldn't let him. In fact, he started to check it and had the cuff on my arm and everything but I ripped it off and he was sort of appalled that I did, but I insisted that I had to get ready for my appointment. But more on that later. I don't know why but I always feel nervous and uncomfortable and awkward whenever they do my vitals check in front of the guys, mainly Buck & Eddie. And Eddie just HAD TO make me feel extra uncomfortable by moving closer to the machine to watch its progression while it checked my pulse ox and blood pressure. Buck, always taking his cues from Eddie, moved closer and cocked his head to see it too. 🫣😳Again. . .awwwkward. I embarrassingly had to look away. The nurse could've told them because she usually voices the reading anyway, and yes, it was good and normal, but when Christian heard, he did that "Beaaautiful" thing he always does. 😳🫣My Lord! They all embarrass me at some point or another ( except maybe Dom ) without even realizing it. Honestly, sometimes its a good thing that no one else but me can see or hear them. . .at least during moments like these. I would be so embarrassed otherwise and feel like such a child and I'm betting the medical professionals would probably get a kick out of it every time and find it adorable as hell. 🙄So we came out then sat back down to wait and be called in again to see the doctor. I questioned Eddie about why he did what he did and did he really have to, which he, of course, insisted that he did, simply because I didn't let him do it back at home. Of course. 🙄 When we went back in again, which didn't take long, Buck, Christian & Eddie followed behind me. We went into the room and I sat down near the wall. Eddie perched himself on the side edge of the exam table, those sexy muscular arms crossed over his chest and his ankles crossed. Buck and Christian stood at the foot of the exam table. Well, Buck stood there first and because Christian was standing behind the door and I told him I didn't want it to hit him, he moved over to where Buck stood. Buck could hear the typing sound when I was on my phone and he was like: "Dang. You even type fast on your phone." Yep! I can. 😁 You know, assuming my fat fingers don't make typos.
After a little while, the doctor came in and Christian was not happy with me for my attitude and for still using my phone for a minute. He was like:
"Get. Off. Your phone, young lady. Put it away, now."
So yeah, I did. I fucking hate talking about what's been going on with my heart around the three of them, especially Christian. Mostly because I have to confess to any symptoms or things that they might not know about or that I've been trying to hide from them lately. And if there's anything new, they exchange looks and I immediately get those deep looks of concern and silent betrayal aimed at me. And then I get the third degree later on when I get home or when I'm waiting for my ride. Of course there wasn't really anything new that Eddie & Buck didn't know about. Maybe the palpitations that I feel like my fucking mosquito whore bites have been causing and I don't think the three of them really knew were bugging me. I might've mentioned it briefly but yeah, Christian might not have known. I don't think. And he didn't know about. . .erm. . .the PVCs/abnormal beats I had during exertion recently. I'll explain in a second. Of course, I get embarrassed again when the doctor listens to my heart and lungs and the rest of them watch me closely as I breathe in and out. The doctor couldn't remember if he listened to my heart or not so he did it again before we left, Eddie intently and expectantly watching, making me blush so hard. 🫣😳Too bad the doctor isn't decent looking or even cute or I'd be all over a second stething. You know I would. Anyway, I made another appointment for six months from now and then my mom came to pick me up cause she was already in the area. While we were waiting outside for her, Damon sat down on this big ole rock and he like struck a pose and was like:
"Hey, take a picture of me over here." 😂🤣
It got me thinking of that 2 Broke Girls episode where Max wanted Caroline to take a picture of her in front of the bloody wall. He's such a dork! I love him! Teehee! The other guys rolled their eyes at him, as always, knowing how narcissistic he is. If only I COULD snap a picture of him or of any of them more often, I would have a full gallery of pics on my phone to turn into Mixtiles. So many moments I would love to capture, a lot of them Buddie moments.
Okay, so remember what I was saying about masturbating earlier that day? Well, I couldn't help it. I had some time before my appointment and I sort of pushed myself a little harder than I should've. Eddie & Buck sort of appeared out of nowhere during it and were kneeling on either side of me on the bed with their stethoscopes in their ears and on my chest at the same time. Sweet Lord! When they both steth me and inform the other of what they're hearing, I can barely handle it. When Eddie was listening though, he said that I was having PVCs and I even felt some of those skipped beats. Buck agreed with him so I'm assuming he heard them too. They told me to slow down because I was aggravating my heart and overexerting myself but I just couldn't stop so since I already had the oxygen mask on, Buck just told me, "breathe. Just breathe, Amy." And Eddie told me, "deeeep breaths. Slow deep breaths." So I did as they told me to and after I came, they continued listening to my heart to make sure I was alright and watching over me. I still insisted that I needed to get ready for my appointment though so they both took my hand and placed their other against my back and helped me to sit up, Eddie telling me, "easy. Nice and easy. Just take it slow," like he normally does. And that was that.