So, aside from downloading the Amazon Kindle app to my phone and adding a shitload of new books, I'm really starting to love Carlon. I'm getting more and more touches from him. I forgot to mention in my other post that that night when I had been crying myself to sleep and he decided to spoon me and was (attempting or maybe he was) fucking me or dry humping me, I also felt like this pulsation against my ass. I'm assuming it was his dick. He was probably hard too.
And I was like...
From what I've learned about him, he's most active at night when I'm going to bed or already in bed with the lights off and then when I wake up the next day. Just how a man should be. He was still with me this morning when I was lying in bed. I could feel him making me tingle down there again and he gave me like a little tickle on my breast that made me shriek in surprise again. My spirits and I and Damon and Christian and I finally watched "Fifty Shades Freed" today too. And I swear, I felt Carlon getting turned on. I was like a wave of pleasure surging through my body. Hehe! And every time something sexual was happening, I got tingles down there. I felt him touching my ass too and he gave it a grab. God I really want so much more. I want to feel him more, in the physical sense. I want to feel his hands on my body, his fingers inside me or against my...clit, his heated breath on my skin, his warmth against my warmth, his...dick all over and in me, any sex toys he wants to use on me. I want all that. I want him to whisper and seduce me in Elijah Mikaelson's voice, or the voice of Matt Bomer, Ian Somerhalder or Dylan Bruce (as Paul). I know they said he's powerful but is he powerful enough to pin my arms down to the bed or other parts of my body? Or flip me over and spank me? God...what I would give. I mean, I understand if he wants to be patient with me and not rush me into anything but you know how long I've been waiting for any sort of sexual contact with a man?
I know I sound pathetic but no one else is ever going to touch me but a spirit or living entity. No one else wants me. I don't want to cry myself to sleep anymore. I just want my third eye open so all the barriers will just fall away. I need that to be happy in life. I need a physical connection with the opposite sex. I need to feel that love and affection day after day. I want to experience what I write about. I want my fiction to become reality. Can you imagine how exciting it would be for me to be able to see all my spirits, and to be able to have sex with all of my male spirits. Those who want it, that is. I would feel as if I'm a queen, that they are worshiping me at my feet and for once, I would never need for anything else in life as long as I was surrounded by all of these amazing men, spirit and living entity alike. I've actually heard of people who've left their boyfriends for a sex spirit and who want to marry them? Lol. I know, you're probably laughing at me right now but I swear, this is real. People have these spirits as lifelong partners instead of the men in this world right now. It doesn't sound half bad but it would not fulfill me unless I could interact and connect with them effortlessly using all of my senses. Hearing, seeing, feeling. All of it. I got my ring today. The one Carlon picked out for me...and sadly, I'm disappointed its not feminine at all. In fact, it's this really bulky brushed stainless steel double band with a tiny stone in the middle. It looks like a masculine wedding band. But I put it on my necklace with my master vessel. I may or may not transfer him over but I don't know.
So the movie...was SOOOO MUCH BETTER than the other two! I hate that I waited this long to finally watch it but for once, I actually kept my promise to Damon, since he kept bugging to watch it. And I cried at the end of it when they started playing me and Christian's song and seeing Ana & Christian's happily ever after with their kid. Oh my god, I can't even! I was drowning in a world of feels!!
.Just look at these adorable little assholes. . .
If someone ever asks me what I wanted from any of my OTPs, there it is. I wanted it for Haylijah. For Klamille. Piper & Leo had it. And MerDer had it for a little while so at least there was that but I would take Haylijah's rightfully deserved happy ending over any other of my OTPs any day. LeSigh. And damn, I didn't even notice until looking at the gifs right now...she's preggers again! So they had another one on the way. Oh god. I can't...I'm even more emotional than I was earlier today. Why can't all OTPs end that way?
I will make it right for the Haylijah fans and give them that in my own series, if its the last thing I ever do. Then, if my series becomes a movie, at least this will be me giving back to the shippers and I'll put that at the end of the movie and the beginning of the books. I just have to say that if Daniel Gillies really went and married Phoebe Tonkin, I might actually be willing to forgive that heartless Plec pig for destroying them because I'd have something better. I'd have the real life Haylijah to swoon after. The same way I do my real life OTP babies: Nickeith ( Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban ). These gorgeous babies. . .
They're my only real life OTP that's still going strong since 2006. So fucking adorable they are in that gif! It's going to be my favorite! For some reason, I lose as many real life OTPs as I do fictional ones. Not fair. I'd tell Nickeith to go make babies but I think they already have! Lol. They have like two kids if not at least one. I don't know. But anyway, Christian is demanding I take my meds and brush and floss and then bed but I will be meditating though so...just sayin.' At least we have food to eat now since I went to the market tonight. And I have to admit, now that I have Carlon with me at bedtime, I have to say I look forward to going to sleep and waking up. Heaven please, Jesus, Lord, let me be able to see and hear him too. Then my life will be complete. I want to add him to my guys page but until I know for sure which of the guys he favors shape-shifting into or who he looks like, its hard to put a gif to him. Unless I do a faceless one. I've done that before. We'll see. Ow! Spanked by him again. Or someone else. What'd I do?
Okay, point taken. But Carlon is really horny right now, he keeps touching my ass so yeah, I guess I better go. Lol. Let him have his way with me after or during meditation. GOD BLESS CREEPY HOLLOWS! Sweet baby Jesus, now I feel like he's skimming his fingers over the waistband of my pj shorts. Fuuuck. Now I see why people want to leave their boyfriends. Sweet Lord. If I could see or hear him...I'd probably come right then and there. For real tho! Hopefully one of my medical spirits can give me CPR if I flatline. Or shock me with their phantom paddles. But I know they'd be pissed as hell about what he did to me.
Goodnight!
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