So today I had my job interview for Office Assistant II with the county. I didn't get much sleep for some reason. I don't know. It's weird, for some reason, I've been waking up like an hour or so after I go to bed or two hours later. Sometimes its those fucking cocksuckers outside making noise working on the fucking lawn and apartment roofs and shit but other times, it's not even that at all and my body just wakes me up. I'm like: "WTF?" One time I woke up like an hour after I had laid down to sleep and when I looked at my phone and saw it was still dark outside, I thought it was 6 in the evening instead of the morning. LMAO! Yeah, and you're probably not surprised that Christian has been up my ass with a fucking broom about me going to bed earlier like ALL THE TIME. But that's Christian for ya. Did I ever tell you guys that my high school crush was named Christian? Yeah, I know, irony, right? The other irony is also in the Fifty Shades Trilogy where its Hyde vs Christian. My mom thinks that's funny too. Anyway, back to what I was saying. I know that me mentioning my high school crush was like totally random but hey, Daddy is random too, and when I say Daddy, I do mean Daniel Gillies. That's another thing we have in common. "WE ARE SO DOING IT! D-O-I-N-G IT!" Teehee! Okay, so lying in bed with Christian this morning, my chest started hurting all of a sudden and he was so sweet the way he turned toward me and was like: "Shh, shh, shh, alright, lie back, lie back for me, sweetheart. Thaaat's it," and he lowered me back to the bed. I love it when he does that! So quick to just jump into action.
He asked me where it hurt and I showed him then he told me to undo my first two buttons and grabbed his stethoscope and told me to let him take a listen and he did. God I love this man. I just swoon so much over these little moments. Of course he said I sounded fine so who knows. Still, he kept his fingers on my wrist for a while to monitor my heart rate while I just laid there. It was sweet. Kinda reminded me of this one blonde lady I used to work with at Kmart. She was a retired Paramedic/EMT and she used to worry about me and after I told her about my A-Fib, she would sometimes come over to me, take my wrist and start checking my pulse. She was totally being a female Christian but I didn't mind. It was nice to have someone care about me for a while that was my friend. But then she stopped doing it and seemed like she didn't have time to be my friend anymore and was all talking to these other bitches I hate that worked there and because of that I started hating her. I missed the attention.
I like people fussing over me. That's the only reason why I ever like being in the hospital because sometimes you get people that actually care about you and want to make you feel better any way they can. And the occasional hot male nurse is always a plus too. I could do without them waking me up every fucking 4 hours to check my vitals though. Ugh! And having to pee constantly because of all the damn fluids they pump into me. I digress.
You can probably imagine how fond Christian became of that lady Misty at work when she took the initiative to check my pulse every now and then. In fact, I think I even remember him saying: "I like this woman." Pfft. Yeah, he says the same thing about my therapist. Anyone who agrees with him when it comes to me or treats me as he does, he starts to like them. Figures.
So eventually, I had no choice but to get ready for my job interview. My mom was coming to pick me up and take me over there since I didn't have another ride so she took me there and of course the guys and everyone else went in with me. It's weird. From the inside, it reminded me of that building that I went into when I had to have my chemical stress test. Yeah, I remember that time. It sucked, but Christian was with me so. . .he made it all better. That was like years ago though so. . .anyway. We went in and it took me long enough to find out where I was actually supposed to go. I went to the second floor like I was supposed to and then I was lost and I almost called my mom to ask where I go next but after some looking around, we found the door to the office. So we went in and after signing in, the lady at the desk gave me a clipboard with some questions to fill out that my mom said they would be asking me in the interview. I sat down and Christian sat next to me, Damon and Hyde and Dom in the other chairs near the door. They seemed like pretty easy questions for me to answer. Not like regular interview questions for retail that catch you off guard and put you on the spot and then you have a mini panic attack trying to figure out some decent answer without stumbling over your words. I only got the first page done before the lady said they were ready for me. I guess the questions I filled out were sort of something for me to go off of when they asked them in their interview. So Christian went in with me. I don't think the other guys did though and he just stood off to the side while I sat down at the table before these two ladies. They always make you interview in front of two people at a time when you're trying to get a job with the county. I've had one like that before when I interviewed to work at the Sheriff's office. That one was more nerve-wracking though because it was like in front of two cops but this one wasn't so bad. I answered the questions, tried to smile and make eye contact but whenever I get nervous, I tend to use phrases like: "like" and "you know" and I laugh nervously. Ugh! So I don't really know how I did. You never know with fucking county jobs. They just ask the questions and that's it. They don't really make conversation with you. They said they had one more day of interviews to do and would reach out by the end of next week. If they even do.
So after that, my mom took me to Red Lobster so I could use my $25 gift card that my dad sent me for Christmas. We weren't going to sit down though since my mom had to take Zoe to get her shots. Since I wanted the Create-Your-Own Ultimate Feast (scallops, crab legs, shrimp skewer, lobster tail), I owe my mom $20 for the extra she put in so I could get it. She left me there to wait for it to be made while she went to go get Zoe from home. Damon totally reminded me of Damon in "TVDs" when he sat down on the barstool next to me like he was about to order a drink or something. Lol! Christian just stood beside me, both hands on the bar, leaning against it. I really need to work on my visualization and imposing of Hyde more and Dom too because I swear, I feel like Hyde is fading from not only my vision but also from my Tulpa life.
I really, really don't want to do that to him and I feel so bad because he was my first Tulpa and I've had him since 2013. I don't want to lose him. We have history. It's just hard for me lately to visualize him and its like Damon and Christian are around more than he or Dom is. So we waited for my food and the waitress was nice enough to offer me a drink. For free apparently. I ordered a strawberry lemonade and when my food finally was ready, I couldn't wait and I wasn't about to let it get cold so I ate my crab legs. As much as I crave and love crab legs, can I just say there's two things I hate most about them. They make your hands sticky as hell and they're a lot of work. By the time you get to the meat inside, it's cold. Ugh! I feel like I'm doing surgery on the damn things every time I eat them. I told Christian that and he laughed. He would probably be better at eating the crab legs and getting the "treasure" out faster. That's what my mom and I call the meat inside, the "treasure." Eating crab legs always reminds me of what Dane Cook once said in an episode of Tourgasm: "I'd order the ice cream but they bring you a cow. It's like an eight-hour process." Lol! I had to ask the bartender for some wet naps and when that didn't do the trick, hand sanitizer. Plus, I broke the plastic claw cracker they give you so there went that too. I ended up flicking crab meat on Damon. LOL! He wasn't pleased. By the time I was done, my mom called me and told me she was outside so I gathered up my stuff and went out to the car.
From there, we went to the vet. I told Zoe, "it's okay, I hate doctors too" and I could already tell Christian was not pleased with me, but it had to be said. I'm just like: "No offense. Just sayin." My mom made me sit in the car and wait while she took Zoe in. She said I could eat my food while I waited for her, so I started eating it but then I started to feel sick to my stomach, naturally. Isn't that always the way? Christian told me to stop eating, right there and then so I did and I brought my book with me so I just sat there in the somewhat hot car and tried to focus on that and entertain myself while I waited. Unfortunately, I got so sick of waiting for so long and don't know what the fuck was going on in there, plus my stomach started to feel really sicker and I couldn't wait any longer. I had to go in and hoped to God they had a bathroom. So I took my book and my purse and went in and my mom was still waiting there and I was like: "WTF?! These fuckers still haven't seen you yet?!" What were those assholes doing that was taking so long? My mom told me later on that they were way behind.
Fucking bitches! I just needed to go to the bathroom so my mom found out where the bathroom was and I rushed into it. Christian and the guys waited outside of the door for me, of course, like always. Sometimes they actually do come into the women's bathroom knowing no one will see them. This wasn't a women's bathroom though. It was a unisex. I read a little of my book while I was in there. Lol. I know, TMI. Just sayin'. I heard them call my mom and Zoe back when I was in there and I was like: "Yeah! Bout fucking time!" By the time I got out and tried to find out what room she was in, she had already finished and was outside letting Zoe go to the bathroom and say "hi" to other dogs. It's weird, they have separate entrances for cats and dogs. I guess so they don't fight.
After that, she went to get my aunt and Chris some food from the Del Taco then the Carl's Jr. And I wanted a large Hi-C orange drink from McDonald's. I tried reading some of my latest HTSAL chapter to her while we were in the drive-thrus but I don't think she ever listens to me. Sometimes she'll comment on things but other times, she has to make an excuse about not wanting to hear it because she's tired or got a lot of things on her mind and blah blah blah, makes all these other excuses. Well, excuse me, but I recall her saying she wanted to hear the next chapter that had Nathaniel in it. You know, because she loves Joseph Morgan. I've told you she's a hypocrite, right? Biggest ever. So that was pretty much what happened on Friday.
Here were are on Sunday. So excited that Prodigal Son is back tomorrow night. And glad that the show actually got interesting the same night I was going to boycott it. I think it was around episode 3 or 4 but anyway. . .what else?
Ugh! The heart rate monitor came and Christian has been making me wear it all day long. Now I know how Alex felt in "Saving Hope" when Dawn kept watching her heartbeat on her phone. I kinda wish it would beep with my pulse but it doesn't. It does show a live ECG though meaning Christian can see my every heartbeat now and see how my heart is doing any time of the day, even when I'm sitting just inches away from him. And Damon too. *eyeroll* Joy. Just what I need. Like Alex said to Dawn, "I'm tired of you spying on me." And Christian is just like: "I'm not spying on you, sweetheart, I'm spying on that heart." I just wear this stupid chest strap under my clothes and the sensor in the middle is supposed to pick up the electrical activity of my heart. I can really see my heartbeat on the phone app, but I really don't think the heart rate is accurate because when I move around, my heartbeat usually runs a little higher than normal, like in the 100s, and on the phone it says its still in the 60s, sometimes in the 70s. So its not that reliable. Glad I didn't spend $100 on it like it was on Amazon. Just like $36 on Ebay.
Hunh! Another one of me and Christian's songs just came on my Spotify: "King Of Anything" by Sara Bareilles. He hates it when I sing that song to him. He gets offended and he's like: "Oh, so that's what you think? That I'm wasting your time?" Awwww! Bless. Look, it's like I told him, not all the time but sometimes, I feel like saying some of this stuff to him. The song speaks how I feel. . .in a way. But I digress.
You know, Christian can watch my heart all he wants. I told him that he's not going to catch anything, and not any palpitations. He was like: "It happened once, it'll happen again." He's so sure of himself and but for real, my heart has gotten used to his spying by now. They know what he's about. I swear, 9 times out of 10, every time he's listening or watching my heart, it behaves itself. No bullshit. It's like it knows Surgeon Daddy is watching and is probably thinking: "Shit! I better be on my best behavior." LMAO! 90% of the time, it's perfectly normal around him. Well, it might get a little fast sometimes because of my attraction to him or nerves knowing that he's listening or watching but yeah, you get the point. He left it recording my heartbeat when I went to sleep this morning, but I wasn't about to go through 4 hours of heart footage. Especially when you can't rewind or fast forward it. But he saw enough to worry even more about my heart when I'm asleep. Ugh! Just what I need. I told him it was probably all wavy because I was changing positions. He almost had a heart attack himself when he saw I might have flatlined a couple times during my sleep. Damon just asked about it and Christian told him and now Damon has that worried as hell look on his face. Christian's like: "She needs to go for another sleep study." And I'm like: "Over my dead body." And he's all: "Well it might be over your dead body if you don't go."
I did one of those things before. Twice actually and I fucking hate them. I hate having to feel like I'm in a hospital all hooked up. . .okay well maybe I kind of like that part. But when they have to put this putty shit all over my scalp to make the wires stay in place, the fuckers make me have to shower when I get home because of it instead of just going straight to sleep. If there was some easier way for them to do it, I wouldn't mind so much. I mean, fuck, you see all these shows where they put electrodes on someone's forehead to monitor their brain activity. You don't ever see no fucking wires sticking out of their head or putty covering their scalps. Do you? No! So fucking get with the times and change that shit up. It's 2020 already! You should be advanced in this shit and technology by now. Christian's like: "Just go." No! I don't wanna ! He says he needs to see what my heart is doing the whole night. He wants to be in the next room with the doctor watching my heart as I sleep.
And apparently, Damon is gushing lately about how he and Christian can still see my heart even when I go into the bathroom next door. Joy. Damon has been making me want to kick him in the face, all wanting to see my heart on the phone but right now I have it leaning against a pillow and turned in he and Christian's direction. And I'm sure my medical team spirits can probably see it too. Damon thinks its cute to comment on my heartbeat and say: "Lookin' good, kiddo. Lookin' real good." As if that's not bad enough, Christian goes from saying: "Beaautiful" to "There we go. Nice, steady beats." I hate this already! I just want to crawl into a hole in shame. Can someone kick them, please? I'm like: "I'm gonna take this damn thing off." And Christian is like: "You don't take it off until I say you take it off." I'm like: "STOOOP! Stop looking at it!" I don't want anyone looking at my heartbeat. It's my personal private. . .thingy. Christian said: "Well that's too bad. . ."
UGHHHHHHH!!!! SO FUCKING SICK OF GOODREADS NOT LETTING ME WIN ALL THESE BOOKS I'VE WANTED FOR SO LONG AND TRIED TO WIN OVER AND OVER AGAIN! MOTHERFUCKERS!! I should sue their asses for not giving me at least one of the ones I want. Cocksuckers!
So being that its after 4 am, I should probably take my meds and then meditate and go to sleep. AND. . .let Christian listen to my heart. He just reminded me. As if I don't already know being that he walks around the apartment with his stethoscope over his shoulders when it gets close to my bedtime. Why does that damn steth of his only have to touch me? Why? Him and Damon. Like I said, they both do that and I'm the only one they use it on. They do it just to fucking tease me. I know they do, although Christian claims he just likes to be prepared and have it at the ready should something happen. And I'm just standing there like:
So yeah, I'm gonna go now. I have stupid physical therapy tomorrow again. Ugh! And so don't feel like seeing Josh's stupid face. Jerkoff. I just don't wanna go but I need to stop by the market so I might as well. Assuming I have any money left for food.