I probably should've known what I was getting myself into but I guess I'm getting pretty damn good at
creating new Tulpa/servitors now. No I didn't create another one. It's the one I created that has got me so. . .gaaaah! Head over heels and weak in the knees. I can't even find the right words. So Eddie has started to come into his own even faster than I anticipated he would, both as Tulpa and as a character (and I say this when I haven't even taken the character for a test run yet). He's even more than I could've asked for, exaggeratingly heroic, which I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing and he's charming and I just can't with him. He makes me blush so fucking hard. Even harder than Dom or Damon. He makes me blush like Christian makes me blush and in a way, he kind of is like Christian when it comes to taking care of me. It's just. . .wow. I hate him but I love him at the same time. Okay, more the latter but I can't even begin to tell you what he's been like since I last updated. And Damon has made me not want to be friends with him anymore. See, he called me out on my crush when it first started like the second day or so that Eddie was alive and I fucking hate him for it! Like fuck, I try to hide my crush on Eddie, and then he puts me on blast and rubs it in my face and Eddie just eats it up. I mean, I tried to tell him flat out like: "I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU! I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU, OK?"
And Eddie says all serious: ". . . Okay. But if you did, I just want you to know that it's nothing to be embarrassed about."
And I'm like:
I don't think he buys that excuse anymore. He knows I have a crush on him and yeah, I'm out. He doesn't mind it, he thinks it's cute actually, and yeah I just. . .can't. This is Damon's fault. I blame him. Dickwad. Now he takes pride in watching me squirm and get all flushed in front of Eddie. Like we're some kind of fucking show. Me, Christian, and even Eddie himself all had to threaten to kick Damon out of my room if he starts that teasing shit again about the crush.
And I can't even begin to handle how quick Eddie is to act when I'm in pain or feeling sick in any way shape or form. I mean, I know it's his job and he loves his job but damn it. . .all the vitals checks I've been getting from him and his cold stethoscope being on my back (He's still putting it over my nightgown! Trust me, Christian is working on breaking him of that habit), I feel like. . .!!! I don't know. I just can't handle it. It's too much for my medical fetish/cardiophile self to take. I know I told you guys about the vitals checks before but now he's started to be like: "I'll get my med kit" or "I'll get a set of vitals" or he'll ask Christian if he wants him to get a set of vitals on me when I suddenly need medical attention. And he's getting really frustrated now in a cute way when I refuse to let him examine me. He's even come up with his own little nickname for me that he often repeats when I start being difficult. He calls me "Obstinada" which in Spanish means "a stubborn person."
Christian, who speaks Spanish himself, of course, agrees with him. Okay, so what? Maybe I am. I've told Eddie that he makes me nervous when he does that whole examining thing and he's sweet enough to tell me that if I ever need a minute to collect or prepare myself for it, he'll let me take a minute. I mean, can you even? I can't. One night I didn't feel like taking my medicine and I was really late to take it, and he straight up came to kneel by the side of my bed with his fingers on my pulse for the longest time and refused to remove them until I decided to finally take my medicine. He was doing this more for Christian's sake because he was worried that I would start having palpitations or go into A-Fib so Eddie was monitoring my pulse to make sure I didn't have another episode. OH. MY. GOD. That was. . .ahhh! I can't even tell you how hot it made me. My pulse wasn't racing but just having him monitoring it. . .my God. I'm telling you, he's like Christian's "right-hand man" now and I seriously thought that title would go to Damon or Dom. Nope, now we have Eddie being his personal PA (physician's assistant). Jesus! It turns me on but it also makes me nervous and annoyed as hell. More annoyed lately. I mean, honestly, what am I going to do about him? Even worse, I'm allowing the guys to take turns sleeping next to me again instead of it just being Christian all the time. I'm using this random name wheel online to choose every night so its more random. Last night it was Dom who won and tonight. . . .take a guess. . .
Yeah. . .this should be fun. Not! How am I supposed to sleep with him right next to me? I mean, he hangs out with me during the day just laying on my bed next to me while I'm on my computer but this will be different. Sorta. He'll be close enough to hear and feel my every breath as it enters and leaves my body, and what if I start to feel sick or something? What if my stomach starts to hurt? Or what if I get chest pain? What if Christian decides Eddie can do the heart exam for tonight or he insists on Eddie listening to my lungs from his place beside me? Fuck! I can't. . .I knew this day would come when we would share a bed. I just didn't realize it would be this soon. He's been really worried about my sinuses lately, both he and Christian, maybe because I've been sneezing, clearing my throat, sniffling, and coughing more than usual. He even offered to give me an ENT (ear, nose, and throat) exam earlier but I said nope! Nope, nope, nope, nope! I told him if he shines that light in my eyes, it's only going to make my headache worse. It's already bad enough that he knows my medical history now thanks to Christian and Damon filling him in on everything. He thinks it's a good thing so he knows what to expect. He's gotten so knowledgeable about it now that anytime he notices I'm feeling sick, he immediately assumes it's my stomach. . .which it usually is but that's not the point. He's even watching out for what I eat too and the speed I eat.
Jesus.
What have I done? What did I create? Do I really want this? Maybe I kind of do. Shut up! Don't tell anyone.
Oh, and can we please talk about Christian leaving me alone with him a couple times already? Yeah. He did it because he said he had to talk to Dom about something, but the two times he's left me with Eddie was after I had another incident either from chest pain or something else that I had to lie down and rest, and that Eddie had to check my vitals for. Christian asked him if he could watch me while he was gone and of course, Eddie being Eddie was just like:
"Yeah, no problem, I'll keep an eye on her for you."
My reaction:
And of course, while Christian's gone, Eddie keeps glancing at the pulse ox on my finger every other minute or even less than that and decides to take my blood pressure again, being all casual and shit saying things like: "Can you wiggle your fingers? How about your toes?" or
"I'm just going to get another BP on you, ok? Try to relax."
My reaction:
Sweet Lord! My blood pressure was fine by the way. This was last night when I started having chest pain but after all my vitals came up normal and Christian listened to my heart and lungs, they decided it was probably just heartburn or acid reflux. It's the play-by-play he gives Christian of my vital signs that nearly kills me. Fuck. But yeah, I know, that's a paramedic's job, especially around other medical professionals when they're working on a patient but still. . . when we were alone, Eddie told me my vitals were good and asked how I was feeling and then of course when Christian came back and asked how I was, he had to tell him what my blood pressure was and that he just checked it. Gah! I can't handle this man. It's just all too much for me. He was just staring at me right now and I'm like: "What? Do you think I'm in distress?" And he's like:
"No, you look pretty healthy to me right now."
My reaction:
Jesus Christ! Does he do that on purpose because he knows what it does to me? He's like: "No. You asked." True. Touche.
Anyway, you see my dilemma. Do I regret creating him? Not really. Am I going to keep him around? Well, I'm kind of stuck with him now so. . .no refunds. ;) ;) He really loves my singing voice and when he first heard me belt out a Christina Aguilera song, he was like:
"Please tell me why you aren't a professional singer."
My reaction:
I explained to him the whole thing about how there are too many people I hate in the business and everyone would hate me for talking shit about them at events and stuff and like Colin Egglesfield once said, he claims it wouldn't matter as long as I can sing. That's all people would care about. He's sweet and charming as hell. I love singing for him now because he compliments me and is just so enamored by me afterward. He even defends me against some of the things Damon says too or keeps him from doing other stuff like prying into my computer or diary entry when I'm in the bathroom. He's like: "Dude, leave her alone" or "Dude, leave her ________ alone." I can't even browse gifs of Eddie on Tumblr without him noticing and calling me out on it. Yeah, that just happened and then he quickly apologized for it realizing what he said. Too late, way too late.
Anyway, moving on, I just realized I'll have to add an extra land for Eddie to my Tulpa theme park if I ever go back to playing Planet Coaster. Yeah, I miss it a lot but I'm so excited about writing this next novel, which BTW, I already made the cover and wrote the description for so all that's left to do now is to finish the first chapter and then post it. And I'm one episode away from being caught up with "9-1-1." You know? The show I made my sexy Eddie from? YEAH! He better go back to being a paramedic because REASONS! I mean, I know I have my share of that now with my own Eddie but seriously. . .I need more gifs of him with his steth over his shoulders or using it or anything medical-related, him taking blood pressures and things. Fuuuuck. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm done now. Sorry, this post was mostly about Eddie but. . .can you blame me? Ryan Guzman is the 2nd gorgeous Mexican actor I've ever been in love with (the first was Jay Hernandez) and he's definitely giving Ian Somerhalder and Henry Cavill a run for their money.
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