So I know I haven't updated this thing since I seriously wanted to kill myself over losing my Daddy to some other whore. Some blonde fucking ugly ass whore and her friend who claimed that Daniel offered them Tequilla at lunch. Pffft! First of all, bitch, only SLUTS drink Tequilla. Guess what YOU are. I wouldn't be surprised if that whore got up on the table and pulled out her fucking tits and ass during the lunch. She looked the type. I really hope that bitch dies. I'll find her one day and stab her fucking ass. Fucking cunt ass bitch whore taking what was rightfully mine. YOU GONNA DIE BITCH! Anyway, enough about that whore. Here's hoping she gets the Coronavirus and then dies. Payback is a bitch, bitch. Speaking of which, ugh, I can't tell you how fucking annoyed as shit I am with the current state of the fucking country. I mean, first the fucking impeachment of Satan gets overruled and then this fucking epidemic starts spreading through the country from the fucking Kai-phams in China or some shit. Figures. They ruin everything in the world. Except for Chinese food. That's all they're good for. It's like fucking Resident Evil or Contagion up in this fucking country lately. The news stations have turned into the fucking Corona Virus channel. I seriously want them all to fucking die from the virus so that maybe, just maybe THEY'LL SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT!!! I thought regular people were paranoid as fuck stocking up on supplies at the stores and giving you the evil eye when you cough in public ( yeah, some bitch did that to me at the store a couple days ago ) but the fucking media is turning it into a fucking circus like its the only motherfucking thing in the world that matters. It. NEVER. ENDS. I'm praying for someone to just take everyone out with a bomb or for there to be a terrorist attack on the infectors so then BAM, problem solved. And what enrages me even more is that these fucks have decided to cancel or close anything that draws big crowds. . .INCLUDING COLLEGE, CONCERTS AND THEME PARKS.
See, that fucking shit right there gives me a reason to beat them to death and I would take great pride in doing so. I mean, fuck, pretty soon, there will be nothing fun for anyone to do because "ohhh heaven forbid we end up among those with the virus". Like I give a shit. First of all, I have a death wish, so anything that would lead me closer to death would be a blessing. Second of all, if we want to go out to places that have big crowds, THAT'S OUR DECISION, NOT YOURS, YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKING ASSHOLES. You have no right to close or cancel these events or these places that people take enjoyment in. Everyone is going to die anyway, that's life. You can at least let us die happily. Doing things we love to do. I say we protest or have a sit-in or something. I would fling poo and animal feces at every place that's closed for that virus shit. They might as well shut down the whole fucking world and country while they're at it. Full-on blackout. It'll probably happen soon enough. I'd bet money on it. I also expect a Zombie apocalypse. Lock and load, motherfuckers. I'm just so pissed at this shit. I really am. Another thing that pissed me off is that this one restaurant, I think it was a fucking Chinese restaurant, wouldn't let anyone in the restaurant until they checked their temperature. OH FUCK YOU! Can you be anymore paranoid? If they start doing that shit at other places, I'm gonna make a fucking scene. I'd be like: "Oh, I thought this was a restaurant, not a fucking HOSPITAL!" I just want everyone to die so they shut up about this shit already.
Let's see. . .people don't shake hands anymore, they fist bump ( which I guess is cool and fun but still. . .paranoid, much? ) Everyone is calling this shit "a state of emergency." Bullshit. Saying people who have heart disease and respiratory problems (like me) should stay home because they're more susceptible to it or to it leading to death if they contract it.
Ohhhh booo hoooo! I'm not afraid of shit. I welcome death nowadays. I'll show up in public as much as I want, I'll travel as much as I want, I'll shop wherever the fuck I want. If they start closing the malls, I'm going to fucking go on a killing spree. I really want to start a fight with someone over it though cause its fun and you know how much I love to get a rise out of people and piss them off. I'm not going to let this shit go on and I'm sure as fuck not going to let anyone scare me out of doing what I normally do or going where I normally go. Like I said, death wish over here. Put me out of my misery. This life has nothing to offer me anymore anyway. It only gets worse. To everyone paranoid as shit and trying to stop the spread of this virus: Just. Fucking. Die. Already. The longer you're alive and still harping about it, the more pissed you're making me.
Okay, I'm done. Sorry. Just had to get that shit off my chest. So moving on. . .I can't play The Sims 4 anymore like I've been addicted to doing these past couple weeks because it won't load my household anymore. It just takes me back to the world screen. It pisses me off so much because I've tried everything and nothing fixes it. Last night, my game froze and I had to shut it down with my task manager and now this. . .so pissed. Right after I had just added a garage and cars to the house. So bye-bye sex with Christian in the game. And we were engaged too. Damn it! Haylijah was gonna have a baby. Damn it!!! This shit better get fixed because I refuse to play without my CC or mods and I have a lot. Maybe this is my muses way of telling me its time to stop procrastinating on my novel and finish it. I don't even know if I want to. Yet another bitch has pissed me off lately with her comments about my characters and how they act. I'm so sick of all the hate I'm getting and I can't deal with this shit anymore. I shouldn't have to. It just makes me feel more suicidal and depressed. Like I'm a piece of shit and so is my writing
So in other news, I've been laid up in bed for days because of this excruciating pain in my lower back on the left side. It's been going on for like a week now. It's hard for me to walk around, it's hard to get up out of bed or lie down in bed or even turn or stretch my body sideways. I can't even cough or sneeze, or sometimes even take a deep breath or move without the shock of the tight, stretching, sharp muscle pain hitting me. At first, I thought it was bronchitis because I've had similar pain before with a phlegmy cough but Christian has been listening to my lungs almost every day and he says they're amazingly clear so he doesn't think its that. I've also been sweating a lot and still have both a dry and sometimes phlegmy cough. Every time we're out in public, Damon has taken it upon himself to point out to Christian: "She's diaphoretic" every time I start sweating unnecessarily. Isn't that just like a Paramedic? He's recently started checking my pulse as much as Christian too. I swear, I almost went to the hospital last night because it hurt so much, but with that fucking virus bullshit and me not wanting to experience deja vu like I did with those gall stones, I decided just to stay in bed and suffer. Christian really wants me to go though and is intent on taking me in there kicking and screaming if it gets worse. He, Damon and even Dom have been taking good care of me though, keeping a close eye on me and making sure I don't push myself too much. The three of them have actually been walking around with their stethoscopes draped over their shoulders as they care for me and keeping close to my bedside. I would expect it from Christian and Damon but Dom? He cares that much. Awwww! And its hot seeing him like that. Damon, of course, got territorial and put on his stethoscope, insisting that he was going to take a listen to my heart too even if Christian tells him he doesn't need to because he already examined me. And Damon is like: "Hey! She's my patient too. She's all of our patients." He's right, I am. I'm even my medical spirits patient. I've been begging them to help me too, but they're always at my bedside too so they probably have been taking extra special care of me anyway. Probably checking my vitals around the clock. Every hour. I've felt them touch me a couple times while I've been laid up. Like today, I felt something press against my chest. I'm thinking maybe it was their stethoscope or one of their stethoscopes. And when I was lying on my side, I also felt someone touch my hip. They were probably trying to comfort me. Awww! Bless them. So even if his stethoscope is freezing cold, I still let Damon take a listen to me too and Christian just lets him do it now. Whenever he finishes, Damon always says, "you sound amazing, kiddo." *blushes* Every time I start to get up or lie back down, Christian and Damon are like: "Easy. . .slowly, slowly" and they reach out to try and help me. They are the sweetest, they really are. They're so good to me. Bless them.
Christian has been doing that little: "shh, shh, shh, relax, just relax" thing he does when I'm crying out in pain and caressing my hair. Even kneeling down at my bedside holding my hand, reassuring me, "I'm right here, princess" when I call out for Daddy. He does that when I'm in the hospital too. :) He did the last time I was there. Sitting beside me on the bed or leaning over my bed like the sexy doctor he is. I contemplated whether I should go to the hospital today too and thankfully, IEHP does provide trips to the hospital even if it takes like 2 or 3 hours. I didn't though. I needed my dad to put more money on my phone so I could send and receive more texts. He also told me that he had similar symptoms before and that it was a UTI (urinary tract infection) from holding it in too long. Yeah, that sounds about right. I do that a lot and I get those a lot but never this painful. I'm worried it might be my kidney. I asked my medical spirits with the pendulum if that's what they think it is, a UTI, and I got a "yes." My dad said I need antibiotics but I already have some so I figure I'll just take the one my dentist gave me for the infection in my gum. The penicillin. He did give me more than others usually do. I just have to take 2 every 6 hours so Christian and the guys are making damn sure that I do and I am starting to feel better. Slowly but I feel like I'm getting better. Thank God! I just need to keep resting and let Christian and the guys take care of me. Damon was sweet to say that if he could, he would already have me on an IV with pain medicine. Gotta love him! I know he would. Yep, I definitely have to write that story about me and my Tulpas and them becoming flesh and blood people. So that's the predicament I'm in right now. I've had to skip brushing my teeth a few nights because I've either been too tired or like last night, barely able to move without pain. Dom hasn't been too happy as you can imagine, but he understands.
One last thing, I can't go to physical therapy at the same place anymore because those motherfuckers decided that I was making them "uncomfortable" with some of the things I was saying. Fucking cocksucking assholes! When that lady called me up, I told her that was bullshit and she said I would need to have my doctor refer me to another facility. I told her to tell them (they therapists) I said to go fuck themselves. Yeah, I went there. And that bitch was like: "Okaaay, have a nice day." Cunt! Fucking Josh and that bitch Ashlie who I thought was my friend. I'd still sit on Josh's face though but those fucks need to have their ass kicked. I'm gonna give them a piece of my mind some time and make them wish they were dead already. Fucking Josh should be castrated and punched in his stupid fucking face. Have his mouth sewn shut so he can't talk about his slut all the time. And pull all of Ashlie's hair out. I want to do that thing in Coming To America: "Fuck you, fuck you and fuck you! Who's next?" So there goes my chance to do my grocery shopping at Vons without needing a Lyft. Fuckers! Took that freebie away from me. Don't worry, they'll pay.
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